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Consumers vs. Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian Mafia

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian MafiaCouldn’t keep from throwing my 5 cents in. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Ocean Marketing is a PR “agency” led by Paul Christoforo, the asshole of such an epic proportions that you could fit in Enterprise and Babylon5 both at the same time, and who hanged himself to dry over at Penny Arcade after attacking his own customer AND then Mike Krahulik. The shit storm that rose after is wonderful not only because it’s got a mention at all the main gaming portals, but also because it took the whole business of people in the game industry being assholes towards their customers for many years on a whole new level. Wait, but what the Russian mafia has to do with anything?..

Except from the mails posted at Penny Arcade and everywhere else in the world:

“From: Ocean Marketing
To: Mike Krahulik
Dec 26, 2011 at 9:33 PM

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian MafiaOK Mike whatever you say lol , are you sure hour not in Boston I spoke to the person who ran the show in Boston last year. If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone. Your acting like a douchbag not that it matters pax east pax west , e3 , CES , Gamer Con , SSXW ,Comic Con, Germany I’m all over the place. If we want to be there we will be there with industry badges or with a booth you think I can’t team up with turtle beach , Callibur or Koy Christmas , I can’t get Kevin Kelly to pull some strings or G4 , Paul Eibler Ex CEO of take 2 ,  Rich Larocco Konami , Cliff Blizinski Epic who were working with on a gears version , Activision who were working with on a MW3 and Spider man Bundle , The Convention Center Owners themselves , Mayor of Boston come on Bud you run a show that’s all you do and lease a center in Cities you have no pull in its all about who you know not what you do.  I’ll see space where ever I want , with who I want when I want and where I want so many ways around you and so many connections in this industry its silly. Anyway , I have no issue with you Sean Buckley Engadget, Scott Lowe IGN and the list goes on and on. Little kids unhappy with a PRE ORDER starting trouble and you email that to us , he’s a customer unless you’re his boyfriend then you should side with the company not the customer. Be Careful”

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian Mafia This guys is obviously in a Top 10 Douchebags of 2011 list. He’s an absolutely illiterate asshole, with a brain of 6 year old and an attitude of a thug, the same kind that waits with a pocket knife in a dark alley to jump on your wallet. So, the first question is, how the fuck this guy managed to crawl into a gaming business? Actually, how did he managed to crawl into ANY business at all besides selling drugs at a local school, is way beyond me. But he’s all over YouTube, showing that poor avenger controller at Pax 2011 East and other videos:


The second question is, and i specifically paint it with this bright color as a token of its vast importance – do you think he’s the only one of a kind?

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian Mafia Okay, now, you may be wondering what the Russian mafia from this post’s header has to do with anything? I’m now almost getting to the point. You see, when USSR went under in the beginning of 1990’s, Russian society crashed like a plane with no pilot and all kinds of thugs and criminals began to emerge as fast as cockroaches in a dirty kitchen. It was called a “wild market” and people happily sold alcohol with poisonous fractions and sausages with cellulose pulp instead of meat. Many of these sellers/thugs were just like Paul Christoforo of Ocean Marketing – they’d take your money, kick your guts out and call it a day. Law enforcement wasn’t working at all, because the old laws were already not functioning and the new ones were not made yet, and the law structures’ employees like police were engaged in the same activity as these thugs.

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian Mafia Gaming industry is just as wild as Russia in 1992. Games and devices were made and sold for decades now, but there are no laws to defend buyers from new-age thugs, and the premises are still reminds of the Wild Wild West. What, no one never EVER saw this Ocean Marketing guy before? With an attitude like that he should have been out of the business long time ago, with the only connection to the gaming industry left is a boot print on his ass. But he is not. Even if you live in a country with an extensive law-enforcement system like USA or EU countries, you probably can sue Paul Christoforo because he deals with real-life, physical goods, but… The outcome of that case would be unknown. He could go out and bribe a judge, for all we know, and even if he didn’t – he’d just get back to business right away.

The worst part is that, let’s face it – he’s not even the only one of a kind out there, and they all can do whatever they want. There are many people acting the same towards their customer base, including not only customer service, but software developers and high-positioned “thugs” in big MMO companies. And these people were treating their buyers with the same amount of “love” and “caring” for years and years. This particular asshole just got exposed in the most loud manner, while others are still lingering in shadows.

Consumers vs Assholes – Part 1: Penny Arcade, Ocean Marketing and Russian Mafia  There was a scandal on Aeria Games forums several years ago after they kicked out one of the Game Sages and she hanged her former employers to dry, telling of their immense douchebagery in great details. Did anyone lose their jobs? Nope. Did anything changed at Aeria’s customer service? Nope. They continue to offer horrible customer service and even more, Aeria Games bans players because they are successful in their games. Several years ago Eve Online’s employees were exposed in helping certain players to gain wealth and control in-game. Did they got fired? Nope. Did anything changed? CCP are the same old assholes they always were.  Usually people just quit playing assholes’ games or stop buying assholes’ goods, but new people – unaware of they’re getting themselves into – are coming in to replace them.

The only positive change I’ve seen so far is Final Fantasy XIV old development team being kicked in the nuts for delivering utter crap and Square Enix covering under their very own shit storm and trying to salvage the game for over a year now. The moral here? Expose the assholes everywhere you can, call out for “big guys” like Penny Arcade who can expose them better, and let’s hope something changes.

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